The Adventures of Eyre the Daring
by Allen Rosebud
Summary: A charming story that explores the possibilities of a strong-willed independent woman in the Victorian Era - with a Pokémon twist.
1. Chapter 1

Jane Eyre was walking down the causeway to her Victorian house with her friend Bridget when a strange creature appeared all of the sudden. "Goodness," gasped Bridget, "whatever shall we do without a strong man within view to succor us in the face of this demon?"  
Eyre kept her cool as she turned the bonnet on her head backwards. "It's cool." Eyre whispered softly. "That's no demon; it's a Pok mon." After her monologue, Eyre shoved Bridget back to safety as she pulled a Pok ball from beneath the skirts of her well-hemmed dress.  
Bridget, just barely bruised from the force of the impact, managed to witness a brilliant flash of light and a strange roar. Eyre had summoned her own strange monster for this special encounter! She was paralyzed with fear, much in the same way Eyre's Pikachu deftly paralyzed the opposing Pok mon blocking the cool causeway.  
"That's the ticket!" roared Bridget as she took in the action that was now just happening on the road they happened to be traversing upon. "Now we can get away to safety!"  
The shady Eyre just gazed at her friend with the eyes of one who is in the know, suppressing a chuckle. Then, her neatly gloved hand swiftly struck the air, giving her Pikachu the signal. Thunderbolt! The enemy Pok mon was toast.  
Bridget gathered her skirts and ran to greet her friend, who was in the process of scraping the fainted Pok mon out of their path. Bridget cried, "That was amazing, Jane!"  
"Shut up!" wailed the trembling Eyre. As the rain began to fall, Bridget could not distinguish between the droplets of rain and her friend's tears. "I didn't ask for these abilities!" Eyre then ran all the way to the house, managing not to trip on her own skirts.  
A gentleman sauntered up to the distraught Bridget and whispered, "There goes the best time-traveling Pok mon Master you'll ever meet" as he silently grabbed Bridget's purse and sneaked back into the shadows.  
Bridget responded without even turning her head. "I know. That crazy biddy is my friend." 


	2. Chapter 2

Bridget slowly opened the heavy, reinforced wooden door into the drawing room and gazed upon the lugubrious figure of Jane Eyre, whose tears had subsided. Bridget gingerly strode to a nearby chair, busying herself with thoughts of ways to console her good friend and neighbor.

"I'm sorry for all those things I said back there," apologized Eyre. "It's just…I have so many burdens to carry." Bridget wondered if one of those burdens might be a chocolate truffle which she would soon unload. As she was thinking this, Eyre produced a cupcake from her petticoat which Bridget ate from the palm of her hand.

"You see, Rochester was the first and best Pokemon Master our world ever knew. That's the reason his wife went crazy. She just couldn't handle the shock." At the sound of this last word, the Pikachu in Eyre's Pokeball stirred slightly. When the corpulent Bridget was done feeding, Eyre gave her a compassionate pat on the head, much to the amusement of Bridget.

"Anyway, I won't bog you down with the bothersome details of the whole affair…"

"Good," replied Bridget, "because I wouldn't listen to them!" Eyre didn't laugh.

At that point in the story, Mrs. Ellsworth strode into the room, sporting a dashing pair of tight leather pants, much to the dismay of her old-fashioned husband. "Honey…" pleaded Mr. Ellsworth, "must you wear those damned pants when we're in the company of our good friends?

"I must and I will," replied the spunky Mrs. Ellsworth. Your backwards attitude is anathema to everything Eyre and her mystical creatures stand for.

"Well, I will not stand for my own wife parading around in men's clothing! It's a disgrace to our good name!"

"I'm sorry darling, but I can't hear you over there in the eighteenth century!"

"Sweetheart, I demand you take off those blasted pants!"

"Fine!" replied the female Ellsworth, who proceeded to loosen the belt around her trim waist. "What in Sam Hill do you think you're doing?" harumphed Mr. Ellsworth.

"Oh, you fool! I wasn't really going to do it!" cried the defeated Ellsworth who started and ran out of the room, fancy pants and all.

"Well then," began the elderly Mr. Ellsworth, "have you ladies checked out my sword-cane?"


	3. Chapter 3

Mr. Ellsworth theatrically pulled the sword from his cane with a womanly flourish. Two small Japanese characters were inscribed near the hilt and Mr. Ellsworth, a self-proclaimed badass, assured the present company that they were simply magnificent.

"I've wielded better swords," said Eyre.

"Woof!" said Bridget.

"Ms. Eyre, I want to join the fight too! I may not have any Pokemon about me, but this sword-cane will surely help me triumph in combat! My wife would also like to provide her…" At that moment, all eyes in the room were upon the comely Mrs. Ellsworth, who had changed into a frilly Victorian dress (because this was the Victorian Era) with all the bells and whistles on it. Sara Ellsworth (because her first name was Sara) blushed profusely as she approached the company gathered at the far end of the room.

Mr. Ellsworth was flabbergasted. "I thought that this wasn't what you wanted, dear…"

Sara cozied up to Mr. Ellsworth and replied, "If it's to please you, Edgar…" Mr. Edgar Ellsworth seized the embarrassed Sara and brushed his thick moustache against her upper lip. "This is getting steamy!" yelped the excitable Bridget. At that point, the daring Mr. Ellsworth placed a tentative hand on his lover's rump!

"Why, you!" burst a riled Sara, who removed her hat and hit Edgar repeatedly with it. "I gotta be me!" announced the mischievous Edgar.

So suddenly, a new character named Divina appeared in front of the assembled group, upsetting the Ellsworths and scaring the Bridget into a corner in which to cower in. Eyre sat in her chair, cool as a pickle.

Divina was draped in many blankets, rugs, and shawls and looked very much like some sort of psycho gypsy. "It is good that you four are gathered here. The time of war is upon us, and you four are the chosen ones." At that point, everybody looked at Bridget who had just messed in the corner, a situation a passing maid soon remedied.

Divina paused. "Where is Rochester?"

"He's dead!" screamed an upset Edgar.

"That's not so," retorted Jane. "Rochester is yet alive, but I cannot divulge the location of his whereabouts."

"Why not?" asked a befuddled Divina.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" asked Eyre, who pulled a gun on the psycho gypsy.


	4. Chapter 4

Divina was looking down the barrel of Eyre's gun. Mrs. Ellsworth was sobbing quietly. Mr. Ellsworth was comforting his upset wife. Bridget was gnawing on a piece of wood.

The glow of Divina's red eyes glinted off of Eyre's revolver. The atmosphere inside the drawing room was as tense as a rubber band that has been stretched a lot, and Divina was only pulling the band more taut.

Bridget, in a sudden bout of courage, rushed to Eyre's side. "Jane, you mustn't be so hostile! She has done nothing to harm us!"

Eyre kept one eye on Divina and turned one to her friend, Bridget. "Bridget, we have to be on our guard. Don't forget what happened to Rochester." Bridget averted her gaze. She hated to remind Jane of Rochester, who had left to _that_ place those years ago…

Divina raised a draped arm in an unexpected gesture. Eyre's eyes dilated just as she pulled the trigger. A resounding click resonated throughout the room. When Divina opened her fist, the present party witnessed six rounds in Divina's oustretched hand. Everybody gasped except the still-sitting Eyre.

Divina closed her hand and reopened it. The rounds had been replaced with the Thornfield Medallion. This was the first event of the day that genuninely shocked the Eyre-meister.

"Well, then," started the gypsy, "shall I deliver Rochester's message?"

？


	5. Chapter 5

Eyre pulled down her bonnet over her eyes and slumped in her chair. "There isn't anything you could tell me from Rochester that I don't already know. I just don't understand why you have the Medallion with you."

"That is the very least of the mysterious mysteries that surround us." Divina summoned a gust of wind from inside her patchwork robes and blew all the maids and servants out of the drawing room."

"Well, I'll be," gushed Bridget, mouth agape. "I haven't seen anything blown that hard since the last time I saw the Ellsworths doing it!"

Eyre rolled a primer and submitted three swift whacks to Bridget's fat head. Mrs. Ellsworth sunk deep into her seat. Mr. Ellsworth donned a grin, the corners of which reached his ears in a way that would be creepy if it weren't so endearing.

"Enough!" Divina swept her arm across the room and stole all the words out of the air. After the reference, she inched closer to Eyre and began to get down to brass tactics.

"Jane, when was the last time you traveled to see Rochester?"

Jane pulled down her bonnet until the base reached her collarbone. "You know I can't see him…not when he's like this."

"I think she meant traveling in time, Jane!" Bridget was ignored by all save for the writer.

Divina leaned closer to Eyre (not in a sexual way, but maybe something like that later). "Look, we both know why I have the Thornfield Medallion on my person, but for the sake of all present, I will say that the reason is because Rochester is being held prisoner at Stately Sanitarium."

The electricity was evident in both the storm outside and the atmosphere in the room. Bridget whispered in her softest tone of the day, "Um…I think we're going to need more Pokemon." Mr. Ellsworth glanced down at his beloved sword-cane, then a beat, and put his head in his hands and sobbed silently.


	6. Chapter 6

The following morning brought grey clouds of forbearance and a cramped carriage to carry Jane and the Ellsworths to Frenzy Forest, beyond which lay Stately Sanitarium. Bridget was to pull the carriage under the whip of a wise but tragic coach.

Divina stayed behind at Thornfield Manor to make sure the servants from Afrika didn't try to take over the place. Besides, being a psycho gypsy, she would have been immediately interned by the people working at Stately Sanitarium, who were themselves insane.

Just before Mr. Ellsworth entered the carriage, he noticed a grass stain on his trousers. "I have to go back and change," he exclaimed. He broke for the manor, but Jane restrained him and threw him into the carriage. As he wept, Jane and Mrs. Ellsworth stepped in and closed the door.

The trip to the edge of the Forest of Death was no more than 15 miles, and was enjoyed by all save for Bridget who was having difficulties pulling the carriage and Mr. Ellsworth who had the stones. Every jostle sent him into a wail that could only be stopped by a swift punch in the stomach from Eyre.

By the time they had got to the forest, it had begun to emit a creepy, purple aura. The coach intended to make the journey back to the nearest town, when 350 bullets erupted from the forest and into his body. Eyre and company took cover behind the carriage.

"Erp," Ellsworth proclaimed, clutching his crotch. Maybe we should have brought some guns.


	7. Chapter 7

The four heroes continued to duck behind the stagecoach as bullets pounded into it from the other side and decided to stay there until morning. Mr. Ellsworth pulled the sword out of his cane and used the reflective blade to get some reconnaissance on the forest.

"Well, it's official," he announced in that gravelly tone of his. "The bullets aren't being fired from guards. They're coming from the _trees_ themselves."

Jane Eyre's eyes dilated 20 centimeters. This wasn't the first time she had come across a sentient forest in her travels. She began screaming and immediately pulled out her time travel gizmo, punched it, and disappeared into thin air.

"What was her problem?" asked the Bridget. Everybody shook their head, except for the dead man in front of the carriage.

This wasn't the first time Jane had travelled in time, but it was the first time she had done so without announcing it. Bridget is actually the expert on time travel in through the group. She explained how the world is make up of kronos fibers which allow people and things to travel through time. However, every time somebody makes a jump, their emotional state begins to fall apart. Bridget wondered whether Jane would be stable by the time she came back. She also wondered what was for dinner.


	8. Chapter 8

Kronos fibers wiffed and waffed around Eyre's body before she was gently deposited onto the ground. Brushing a stray hair from her face, she looked up and found that she was in a place called Pallet Town. "Pallet Town?" Jane thought to herself? "This place is supposed to be burned to the ground!

The sound of a door opening and slamming shut emanated from the laboratory. Jane espied a confident, quick-paced countenance heading toward the tall grass. It was the exact visage of a young Rochester! Young Rochester strode out of town as Eyre whited out.

"They make you unstable," Bridget explained as she scratched behind her ear with her hind leg and dodged bullets from the Forest of Death. The kronos fibers etch away at your mind like a needle scratching a record on a gramophone. If Jane makes a few more jumps, she'll go mad!"

"But why would she jump now?" inquired Mr. Ellsworth. "She's never this scared!"

"It must be a sign," offered Sara wisely.

The trio inspected the action coming from the forest. The hail of bullets was slowly eating away at the metal plating of the stagecoach. Only inches separated them from life and death. Just then, some conifers ceased firing and began to grow arms and legs out of their trunks.

Mr. Ellsworth pulled out his katana from his sword-cane sheath. "That's it, you tree mother-fuckers. Your deaths are gonna be arbortrary."

Eyre woke up in the laboratory. Sensing urgency, she saw that one Pokeball had been left on the table. Grabbing it, she grabbed it and ran for the door. "Stop," shouted Professor Oak. Jane Eyre kept running. She didn't take orders from any man. Running to Viridian City, she began to sense something was wrong. Turning back, she noticed a figure in the distance. It was Miss Temple.


End file.
